Friday, May 6, 2011

As I fell to my knees, the bronchial tubes partly up my throat, with Death himself knocking at my door, I felt a hand reach out and touch me, then another. I felt a tug at my shoulders, I felt myself being pulled and dragged. Whether to salvation or to my doom I knew not. Whether hours or moments passed thereafter I shall never know, but suddenly I felt cool air pouring down my throat. Not entirely certain I was alive or dead, I found my myself on the kitchen floor, looking up into the eyes of my savior. It was . . .

MY WIFE! "What?!" I said. "YOU saved me? I thought you lured me to my death with promises of a cool evening in the out of doors." "Silly Dan," she said. "I asked you to come out doors. I did NOT ask you to come outdoors without your SFATIESE!! Your "Stage Four ACME Thoroughly Insured and Environmentally Safe Environmental Suit!" You know you can't survive outside without it." "But what of the insurance money?" I asked in astonishment. "You're worth more alive than dead," she said with a slightly wicked smile. What could she mean, I wondered. As I lay on the cool tile floor, catching my breath (after first having assured myself my lungs and bronchial passages were just where they should be), she held something up to my face, just before my half open eyes, so that I could see it. Oh no, I thought. Not THAT!

TO BE CONTINUED.

6 comments:

  1. hahahahahahahahahaha, I needed a laugh like this :)

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  2. What could be held up to dad's face that would elicit that much fear?
    Vegetables?
    Swim trunks?
    A life contract of indentured servitude? (wait, that's synonymous with your marriage license...)
    A SPIDER?!
    A doctors note saying no more sodium??

    I love that you're using labels! I am happy that you're using this thing-a-ma-blog.

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  3. Loved Allie's comment. I do too like vegetables. Well, kind of . . .

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  4. It was actually a moth that I held in front of him. Love MOM

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  5. God may have created the earth, but the moth is an escapee from hell.

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